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Guide · England and Wales

MIAMs and mediation: what they are and what to expect

Mediation can help you and your ex-partner agree about money and children without going to court. Before most court applications, you'll need a first meeting called a MIAM.

Last checked: 25 October 2026. See our sources.

In short

  • A MIAM is a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. It lasts about an hour.[1]
  • You'll usually need one before you apply to court about children or money, unless an exemption applies, for example if there's been domestic abuse.[2][3]
  • The Family Mediation Council says: "As a guide, you can expect to pay about £120 per person for a MIAM."[1] It's free if either of you qualifies for legal aid.[4]
  • A government voucher can pay up to £500 towards mediation about children.[5]

What mediation is

Mediation is when a mediator helps you and your ex-partner reach an agreement, without taking sides. It isn't relationship counselling.[6] It can often mean you don't have to go to court.[4]

You can go in person or remotely, by video or phone, and you don't have to be in the same room or call as your ex-partner.[4] You need to use an accredited mediator.[4]

The agreement you reach in mediation isn't legally binding. To make it binding, you need a consent order approved by a court, which can be based on what you agreed.[6]

A mediator can decide mediation isn't right for you, for example if there's been domestic abuse.[6]

What happens at a MIAM

A MIAM lasts about an hour. You tell the mediator about your situation, and they explain how mediation works and the other options for reaching an agreement. At the end, they'll tell you whether your case is suitable for mediation.[1]

You and your ex-partner each go to your own MIAM, separately. If you go but your ex-partner doesn't, you can still apply to court.[4]

Only a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council can sign the court form to confirm you've been to a MIAM.[1]

If you have children over the age of 10, the mediator will talk with you about their right to have their views taken into account.[1]

What it costs

The Family Mediation Council says: "As a guide, you can expect to pay about £120 per person for a MIAM."[1] GOV.UK says: "A MIAM is usually about £120."[6] The Family Mediation Council adds that the cost varies depending on the mediator and where they're based, so ask when you get in touch.[1] You don't have to pay for a MIAM if either you or your ex-partner qualifies for legal aid.[4] Legal aid can also help with the cost of family mediation.[7]

The £500 mediation voucher

The Family Mediation Voucher Scheme gives up to £500 towards the cost of mediation. It's for disputes about children, or about money when that's linked to a dispute about children.[5]

  • You can get it whatever you earn.[4]
  • It can't be used towards a MIAM, only mediation sessions. It usually pays for at least 2 sessions.[4]
  • You and your ex-partner can only use one voucher between you. Ask an accredited mediator to apply for it.[4]
  • The scheme is time-limited and there's a limited number of vouchers.[5]

When you need a MIAM, and when you don't

You'll usually need to go to a MIAM before you apply to court for a financial order or for an order about children.[2][3]

You won't usually need one if, for example:[3]

  • there's evidence of domestic abuse
  • a child would be at risk
  • the application is urgent, for example you or your child are in danger
  • you're applying for a consent order, because you've already agreed
  • you've been to a MIAM, or another way of resolving things out of court, in the last 4 months
  • you can't go to a MIAM, for example because of where you live or because no mediator is available

The full list is in the court rules (Family Procedure Rules, Practice Direction 3A).[8]

Other ways to agree without court

Mediation isn't the only option. You could also try negotiating through solicitors, collaborative law, arbitration, or getting an expert's view on what a court might decide.[9]

A mediator can't tell you what a court would be likely to decide.[9] A legal adviser can help you decide which option suits you and tell you what it costs.[9]

Other guides

Who can actually advise you

Splitt gives general guidance, not advice. For advice on your own situation, these are the people to talk to:

  • Family mediatorHelps you both work through the decisions you need to make, without taking sides. A mediator can't give advice, but is usually much cheaper than legal advice.[10]
  • Family solicitorGives legal advice on your rights and options, and whether you're getting a fair deal. A solicitor can also ask a pension on divorce expert to look at your pensions.[10]
  • Pension on divorce expert (PODE)A specialist who can examine all your pensions, write a detailed report and recommend how to split them.[10]
  • Financial adviserGives financial advice, for example on your pensions and how a settlement affects your plans for the future.[10]

Free, impartial help

Find a mediator or family lawyer

Directories run by professional bodies. We don't recommend or receive anything from any listed professional.

Sources

Last checked: 25 October 2026. We read every source below on that date. Rules and fees change, so check the official page before you act.

  1. Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM), Family Mediation Council. https://www.familymediationcouncil.org.uk/family-mediation/assessment-meeting-miam/
  2. Money and property: get the court to decide, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/get-court-to-decide
  3. Child arrangements: apply for a court order, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/apply-for-court-order
  4. Child arrangements: make an agreement through mediation, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/mediation
  5. Family Mediation Voucher Scheme, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/guidance/family-mediation-voucher-scheme
  6. Money and property: get help agreeing, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/money-property-when-relationship-ends/mediation
  7. Legal aid, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid
  8. Practice Direction 3A: family mediation information and assessment meetings (MIAMs), Ministry of Justice. https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/procedure-rules/family/practice_directions/pd_part_03a
  9. Child arrangements: other ways to agree without going to court, GOV.UK. https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/non-court-dispute-resolution
  10. Split pensions in a divorce or dissolution, MoneyHelper. https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/pensions-and-retirement/pension-problems/split-pensions-in-a-divorce-or-dissolution

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